Depth Takes A Holiday
by Monroe Happens
Summary: "Yes, Fine. We're going to kidnap Queen Victoria. Happy?"
1. Today

**Disclaimer:**_ No. I'm not any of three men who created this nor am I either of the two who revived it.  
>Also-Matt Smith= The Human Puppy. Yes? Yes. Of course he is. Carry on.<em>

* * *

><p>Amy Pond-no. Not today. Today and <em>only <em>today she would be known as Amy Williams. Back to the point of today- she was going to be romantic. Over the years she has left it to the other, in most cases, Rory to take the duties of the romanic. He's taken her on many romantic walks and picnics but she has never taken it upon herself to initiate the romantic bits of their relationship outside of sex. But today, for Rory, she would.

It has _nothing_ to do with how many times she has witnessed him die or nearly die. No sir. That kind of stuff did not bother her. Rory and Amy were unstoppable by this silly death concept. She had no worries what so ever. Even though her stomach felt like an out of control roller coaster when she thinks about the time he- but that not the point of today.

Amy was prepared. She set the table for two and even found some candles. The only issue was that odd smell but they looked well enough. The major problem however, was that she had no idea how to cook.

Amy narrowed her eyes at the chicken as if it were a great enemy. The chicken did nothing. She tapped it. The book said something about being tender. She tapped it again.

Deep breath. In and out. Cracked knuckles and streeeetch. Amy was ready.

She picked up a rolling pin that she called a wooden log thingy and

WHACK.

SPLAT.

"Neyaah!" Hands in front of face. Speck of something wet meeting her eye like a kiss. Not amused was our heroine. She spat. Her arms flailed and she wiped the mess from her eye. She was not going to cook another meal the rest of her married life. Rory had best appreciate today.

"Amy, have you-"

"Shh!"

Amy raised the the log thingy in her hands as if it were a deadly boom stick. The Doctor halted, took a step back and tried to think of what he could have possibly done, did or would have done to deserve this treatment.

"Quiet. I'm baking."

"I was going to ask if you've seen-it doesn't matter. What are you baking for? Doesn't Rory usually-"

"It's Valentines day. I think. It feels like Valentines day. I have to do this." Amy motioned the chicken with the wooden log thing in her hand that is also known as a rolling pin.

"To bake a chicken." Humans were weird. He didn't say this thought out loud. He was learning.

"To cook dinner for my husband. I'm being romantic. What about you?" She covered her eyes with one hand and hit the chicken with the wooden log with her other. Less spray. She smiled.

"I don't have a husband." He had to think about that for a moment. He nodded, satisfied he didn't have one.

"River. Don't you two celebrate things?"

WHACK goes another. She lifted the limp chicken breast and turned it over. The book said both sides before she added the spices and what not. The Doctor watched her with mild interest.

"Valentines day." He said. He sounded confused. He was confused. He turned his attention to things he understood. Like those oddly smelling candles.

"Amy, where did you find those candles?"

"I don't know. Around. Anyway, come on. Considering how old you are, I bet you've had loads of good Valentines days, Show River-"

"Are saying I'm old?" He took a brave towards her. He tried to put on grrr face. But he couldn't commit. She reminded him too much of Donna and Donna scared him and she too, had that power.

"You're over 900. Of course you're old! You're ancient. The point is-oooh don't give me your angry face." She waved his concerns off with a flick of the wrist and continued to abuse the poor dead chicken.

"I'm not giving you angry face!" He wasn't. It was Mr. Pouty Face now.

"Has anyone ever told you, you're like the human puppy?"

"Time Lord!"

"Same difference."

"Is not!"

"Go away. You're distracting me. I'm trying to be a good wife." She put the chicken in a glass pan.

"Those candles-"

"Oh, who cares. I know they're not sexy or fancy but they'll do. Now leave! Rory already feels inadequate enough being here. He doesn't need you hanging around right now. I'll see you tomorrow. Now shove off!"

Amy pushed the Tim Lord away from the kitchen. He was not amused.

"Amelia Pond, listen to me!" She stopped. He never usually called her that.

"What."

"Don't touch the fire."

She blinked.

"Go see River."

One last shove and he was out of the kitchen and stumbled down the hallway.

Three hours later and a slightly burnt cake later, Amy was ready. She led Rory into the fancy area she had decorated. She covered his eyes with her hands and led him to the table.

"Ta da." She removed said hands. Rory blinked several times.

"You-you cooked."

That wasn't exactly the response she had envisioned. Rory looked around with eyes filled with child like wonder. Amy never cooked or tried romantic things like this. He liked.

"Yeah." She tried to sound cool and calm. Like it it was no big deal. He he stood up and embraced her. Result!

She took a seat across from him. Wine already poured and a started course placed ready to be eaten.

"So. Happy V-day." She picked up her glass and drank nervously. He took his seat and raised a glass to her before drinking.

Rory had a weakness when it come to candles and Amy. And being around other men who were clearly seen as alphas. He needed to prove his own manly maness. He also did stupid man things like act impulsively and without thinking.

Also. Rory really liked fire.

He touched the flames of the candle.

He promptly passed out.

"Rory!"


	2. It's Not Kidnapping

**Disclaimer:**_ No. I'm not any of three men who created this nor am I either of the two who revived it.  
>Also-Matt Smith= The Human Puppy. Yes? Yes. Of course he is. Carry on.<em>

* * *

><p><em>This is where it starts to get complicated kids.<em>

Rory knew something had not been quite right. First off, he was in a field of flowers. Very bright and his vision had not been exactly in focus. Was he dreaming? There was a man in a worn leather jacket leaning against nothing. Rory knew in his bones he could trust this man. His feet moved on autopilot and took him to said man.

"You're new. A bit pretty." The Man clicked his tongue and his cold fire eyes made Rory feel quite inadequate. And sad. Not sad. Sorrow and pain burrowed into his chest and sucked air out of his lungs. Rory's knees buckled and he tries to find something to hold onto.

"Steady on." The Man holds out his hand and Rory takes it, steadies and feels the wave of crushing sorrow rescind back wherever it came from.

"Thanks."

"You must be special," says The Man, " saving you like that." He smiled but it lacked humor and warmth. Rory felt very cold.

"From fainting?" His manly maness points where gone. Again. Rory looked at The Man closely. Something wasn't quite right.

There.

His body.

His image.

He looked like a damaged hologram.

Flicking in and out of existence.

Each flicker, came a different man, different face.

Rory wanted to run.

He trusted this man.

"Who are you?" He knew the answer but he had to ask the question.

"Me? I'm the Jolly Fireman." He straightened his stance and grew tall as mountains.

"I'm Rory." He came in waves. Soothing and honest. He felt so small.

"Something went wrong. She brought you here to keep you busy. Occupied. Useful. Alive." The Jolly Firemen reached in his pocket and pulled up a sleek object.

"Is that a sonic screwdriver? Why is it so small?" The Jolly Fireman held it out for Rory. Unsure, he reached out and took it. The Jolly Fireman covered Rory's hands with his.

"Eight parts." His gripped tightened, cutting off circulation. Rory tried to free himself but no avail.

"I don't understand."

"I'm broken."

"I'm a nurse. I could maybe-" Rory had to break free from this. His hands couldn't last much longer. Was he a machine?

"Find the eight missing pieces."

"Listen, I just want to-"

"Then you can go home."

Hold released.

Rory stumbled back holding his wrist. The Jolly Fireman stuffed his hands back into his pockets.

"Return the missing parts and then you can go home."

"What am I looking for?"

"Her."

_The other side of the world things were looking up if you were down._

Amy managed to drag Rory from the kitchen dining area to the console room. She dropped her hold of Rory when she saw what the Doctor had been up to.

"It's not kidnapping!"

"What did you do? What's that." She nodded her head to the police box. The shaking and cursing police box, or rather the inhabitant of.

"Let me out! I will murder you! LET ME OUT OF HERE. I'll have you for this! I know people! I have armies of aliens willing to do my bidding!"

The Doctor ignored the angry box and focused on Amy and the down Rory. It didn't take long for him to guess what had happened.

"Your cooking killed him." He nodded at the downed Rory.

"We didn't get that far." Amy reached down and sat him up. The Doctor walked over and kneeled down. Sonic screwdriver out, he scanned him.

Ah.

"He touched the candle. I specifically told you not to touch the flames." He turned to her, grumpy face on.

"Do you make it a point to ignore everything I say?"

"What? Sorry, I can't hear you over the screaming box. Do you kidnap people now or have you always?"

"It's not kidnapping, she agreed to be one of me's companions."

"It's sad how much of that sentence made sense to me."

She turned her attention back to things that mattered. Rory. Not moving. Unconscious and she wasn't too sure why.

"Doctor, what do I do?" She looked at Rory pointedly. The Doctor shrugged her off.

"Just a quick kiss. It's fairy tale candle curse. One of my friends-well enemy, gave it to me on my birthday."

"You kept a present from an enemy? You have birthdays?" He aged, she knew that much. Just not when his birthday had been. She learned everyday how little she knew about her best friend.

"Yes. I have birthdays. Anyway. This looks like one of sleeping ones. So! True love's kiss. Go on."

"That it?"

Amy could handle that. She leaned over and her lips met Rory's. She pulled away and waited with great anticipation.

Waited.

Waited.

"Are you sure Rory is the one?" The Doctor broke the not quite silence.

"Doctor! Something is wrong. " She kissed Rory again and again.

Nothing.

Nothing.

"Think. Think. What do all these fairy tales have in common?"

"What does a fairy tales have to do with anything? Maybe you're wrong!"

"Did you not read the card attached to the candle?"

"I just sort of found it and took it."

"Prince! Snow White and Sleeping Beauty were kissed by Prince Charming!"

"So what? Have Prince William snog him and he'll wake up?"

"No. I think we can do better that. Why not a queen?"

The Doctor went to his controls and went to work setting their destination.

"So, what. Queen Liz then?"

"She doesn't have a sense of humor or adventure! No."

Amy looked at Rory, the screaming box and the Doctor. She gave up. She slid down to the floor. What the hell.

"So, who then?"

"Victoria!"

"We're going to kidnap Queen Victoria?"

"Yes!"

Last lever.

"No. Borrow. We're going to borrow-"

"Kidnap."

He finished. He turned to her and his eyes dared her to defy him again.

"Yes, Fine. We're going to kidnap Queen Victoria. Happy?"


	3. Your Star Is Fading

**Disclaimer:**_ No. I'm not any of three men who created this nor am I either of the two who revived it.  
>My Current goal is to finish at least one of my stories. Not finish grad school. Don't I have my priorities straight? Hermione Granger would be so proud.<br>_

* * *

><p>"This is the plan."<p>

He pushed Amy out of the Tardis and closed the doors behind her. Amy opened the doors and was again, pushed out. Third time's a charm. She grabbed him by the jacket and pulled him along with her.

"What are you doing? Where are we?"" It was dark and an old castle stood behind them in all the glory and wonder of the moment. The Doctor looked so pale and worn.

"The thing is, here's the thing. I can't stay here. I can but I don't want to. So I need you to. Wait." He turns and tries to flee. Halt the explaining but Amy is wise and has a fantastic grip on him. He gives up the escape.

"Explain." Amy had her serious and nearly pouty face. He didn't like that face. He felt like a scolded child when she wore that face. He hunched low and pouted himself.

"What is it? What's wrong? And were you seriously going to ditch me here?" Damn those Scottish eyes. He felt part of himself melt under their flame and glow. He stood up straighter and tried to exude and air of power and confidence.

"I can't be here because I am here. One of me. The point is. They need a maid and watch out." He leaned against her and she felt very awkward and grabbed for his shoulders to steady him.

"An alien thinks it's a werewolf. Don't let it bite you because you'll turn into a . . . werewolf."

"Are you serious? Werewolves? " He leaned back and turned around dramatic walking for his precious Tardis.

"I have to sort out the shouting box. I programmed the Tardis phone into your mobile so if you need me at all, call. I'll be back. I have things to take care of."

"What am I supposed to do exactly?"

He turned back to her. Evidently he had forgotten that bit of their conversation. But to be fair his mouth didn't keep up with all the thoughts inside his head so of course there would be times and moments and fractures and figments that would be forgotten and slip by.

"One hour." He tapped his watch.

"One hour, what?"

"Here." He pointed to the ground.

"Here." She repeated uncertain. He nodded and clapped his hand together. She did not like where this was going.

"In one hour meet me back here with Vicky and we'll have Rory up and about in no time! Well an hour. Remember, the monks aren't real monks." He opened the doors to his wonderful machine and popped inside.

"Monks. What monks! Doctor!"

Of no use, her shouting and pounding her fists on the wooden box that wasn't. It vanished like it does. Amy was left in a country and time and place she had no idea about. No plan of action. She glared at where the tardis once stood.

"I'll kill him."

About face. Turn and stride. She set her sights on the mansion/castle/house. Ol' Queen Vicky was in that there place, apparently. Her kiss may wake up her comatose husband. One hour to get the Queen out of that place and back here. Avoid aliens who think they're werewolves and monks who weren't monks stood in her way.

No plan.

But she had what she always had.

She was Amy Pond.

_Inside the impossible blue box was a shouting box and a very befuddled alien._

He could almost convince himself it wasn't a kidnapping. After all she had agreed to be his companion. Just not this him. But he was that him and all of the him's. He touched the shouting box and bravely unlatched the lock before jumping backwards as it opened.

The befuddled and lets face it, very rightly irate alien came from the box and leapt at the Doctor.

"Hug!"

He grabbed for her only to be smacked and swatted at and punched. This was not the reaction he has been hoping for.

"You kidnapped me. You locked me in that box. Why? Where the hell are we? What the hell is this place?" Donna Noble wanted blood. And answers.

"Happy Valentines day?" He smiled slightly and shrugged.

"What?" She had to hold onto her stupid dressing gown. She was having a fine time. Really. The pool had been lovely

__One Hour Prior, Millions of Years in the Future's Past__

"It's a date. Well, not a date-date. You know what I mean. Bye!" Donna hung up the phone the man took away the platter that held the phone and went about his business. This was going to be the best lazy Sunday ever.

Seriously.

She exhaled.

Then felt hands on her shoulders. She didn't order a massage.

"What-"

"You call this a holiday?"

Present…ish

"Then you force me in that stupid box!" She went to hit him again but he dodged.

"But it's not a proper holiday! You can't even go outside on Midnight without exploding! You know what, dancing. I'll take you dancing in Paris. Space Paris."

"I don't want Space Paris! I want to go back. Take me back." Donna was scarier than Amy Pond. He forgot about that.

"Is it the face? It's me! The Doctor. I just had some. . . work done."

"No you're not."

"I can prove it."

He ran his hands through his hair and aggressively attacked it. He then put his hands by the side of his face and hunched a little.

"But imagine me slightly thinner."

Donna blinked.

"No. No. See my hands? Sideburns!"

She stared back blankly.

"That's thing about you, Donna! You're never impressed you're supposed to be! I took you to the beginning of the universe! You just stood there all frowny and bored. I can tell what year it is by smelling-"

"Doctor?"

"I always had to try with you. The tricks and gimmicks never worked for you. Flirting was out. I just needed one more-

Donna reach inside the gowns pocket and handed the doctor a tissue. He looked at it and then her.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You say thank you and stop talking." She smiled a little smile. The smile that he loved. They were like treats. Biscuits. If you could make Donna smile then you won. He couldn't contain it any longer.

He hug tackled her.

"Why did you kidnap me?" She asked as he pulled away.

"It's not kidnapping. You agreed to be my companion." Just to make sure that this had been real, he hugged her again.

"Oh, God. Am I going to die?" He tensed and jump backwards. He forgot about having to let her go and not tell her anything.

"You're Donna Noble. The universe would have to collapse before it could take you out."

"That's true." Smile! And slight laugh. He was on!

"Hang on. Valentines day? You took me for a Valentines date? And how can you change your face?"

"Not a date! And we're not going anywhere. I sort of am cheating. My timeline. It's more of my gift to myself than you."

She wasn't sure if she liked the sound of that. He went to the console and set to work.

"What does that mean?"

"There!"

"Space Paris?"

"No, no. I only said that so you'd stop hitting me." He ran to the door and opened. She looked out.

"That's a station."

"Yes. Get on the bus." He pointed to the proper one.

"Why."

"I need you. Get on the bus."

"Your gift to yourself is me?" She really didn't want to have that conversation with him.

"You're my best friend and this is going to be one of those days. Bus. Now. Get on."

She stared but stopped. She turned to him.

"The four hour school trip tour. Oh, come on! isn't there something else we could have done?"

"Donna. Bus. Now."

"You're paying for this." She forgot about wearing only a dressing gown and marched to the bus.

The Doctor closed and locked the door before she had realized the state of her dress. He touched his cheek a moment later.

"Damn."

She had noticed.

He got one extra day with Donna even if it wasn't with him. He could almost accept that. Now. He one more person to sort out. He sighed. Valentines Day was hard. He almost forgot. He looked at the sleeping Rory.

_Inside a Mind of a Nurse We All Know._

"Hello, Pretty."

Rory was beside himself in confusion and honor and pain. He tried to remember but wanted to forget. She was dead but never alive. House destroyed her twice.

"Hello, Sexy."

She held out her hand and he took it.


End file.
